Running Down A Dream

I began reading a new book recently. Running Down a Dream by Tim Grahl. I haven’t made it far, just over ten percent of the book so far, but I’m seeing echoes of me in his words.

Tim talks about working a side business that has grown steadily, so well in fact that he can quit his 9 to 5 and focus on his business. But when he does, suddenly he isn’t meeting deadlines, his clients are less than pleased, and money becomes horrendously tight.

As he examines his days and tries to figure out where all of the time is going – he realizes it is being spent on coffee with a buddy down the hall, video games, and other time sucks.

Damn, but that resonated with me. How often have I checked Facebook, checked my book sales (at least 3-10 times a day!), or found my thoughts wandering to fashion projects that are sometimes years away – all instead of writing the chapter I have due on my website in two days.

I was alarmed to realize just this past Thursday that I had a deadline looming. I had promised a chapter a week for The Hired Gun, and the chapter was half-written and needed serious improvement before it was ready to go live on the website.

And not just that, but then the next Monday following that I had not just another chapter due, but also the second half of my short story Not Quite Human. And not a word written in it!

Jeez, Christine, you talk a lot about writing. How about you just, you know, WRITE?!

There are a thousand excuses. Really, there are. Unlike Tim Grahl’s life, mine is full of twice as much work – I run a housecleaning biz, I am spearheading this entire renovation plan on the two cottages, I’m a foster mom of one active (and demanding) toddler, I make sure the house runs smoothly and the bills are paid, and we resume homeschooling in just a few weeks.

Tim Grahl, you’ve got nothing on me.

That said, I am using all of those things to avoid doing the very thing I keep saying that I want to do. As in, I wanna be a writer full time and get paid for putting words on the page.

And that’s ridiculous.

Whether it is imposter syndrome or Grahl’s evil specter Resistance raising its ugly face, it matters not. The writing is not getting done.

So I’m going to keep hobbling along and try and read Grahl’s book as quickly as possible. Here is hoping it can help get my eyes focused back on the prize again.

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