Okay, I’ll admit it. I got discouraged. But I also learned a little about myself – so to me it is educational, a lesson learned.
I was plugging away on Gliese 581: Departure. Now supposedly Dad and I are collaborating on this. I say ‘supposedly’ because, probably due to other motivations on his part, (mainly he just wanted to motivate ME to write), he is serving as editor and I am the writer. When I suggested a collaboration I was thinking more about how I write a chapter, then he writes a chapter, and so on.
But that’s not going to happen.
So then I hoped he would give me plenty of ‘atta girls’ as I wrote. Just simple stuff such as “I liked the part where you described [fill in the blank]” or “you really hooked me in that first paragraph.” Instead his focus has been on the scientific side of things. This isn’t terribly surprising, I told him I wanted him to be the science expert. But begging him to read over what I had written for a week took its toll on me. Especially after he read enough to simply tell me about three things that didn’t work.
So it put me off of writing it and I spent the rest of the weekend doing a multitude of projects. After all, around here, there is always plenty to do.
At 40 years of age, I still want my dad’s approval. I can’t help it, it’s just the way I’m wired. But that wiring also seems to include a deadman’s switch. The minute I sense too much disagreement/disapproval and not enough reassurance/approval – the writing shuts off.
So the lesson learned for the day is this…
Whether or not he approves or comments favorably, I still need to write. I need to continue to push forward. If I don’t, if I allow myself to be waylaid or fall apart with a little bit of criticism then I won’t ever be successful in a writing career.
I don’t have to be rich, but I do expect to be published. I need to make sure that being published happens.
So lesson learned.
Starting word count today: 11,503
Goal for today: 2,000 word