It hits me in unexpected moments – that realization that I have lived a rather interesting life.
Despite being an agnostic with atheist leanings (or perhaps because of that status), I find myself contemplating the lessons this life has given me, the strengths I have developed through adversity, and the deep happiness I find in sharing my knowledge and experience and empathy with others.
I’ve still got a long way to go. I figure I’m somewhere at the halfway point of my life, and I am fascinated at the thought of what another 43 years can or will teach me. Who will I be then? What turns will my life have taken?
I haven’t been to Europe yet, or even visited that many states east of Missouri, but my life has been full of learning opportunities. Perhaps it is in how we look at the events in our lives that dictates what they become as we leave them behind.
My first husband was a deadbeat, determined to control me through emotional abuse – from this I learned (albeit years later) that I was actually a good person inside, full of capability and love and potential.
My parents were at times functional and somewhat there for me – from this I learned to be functional ALWAYS and to be aware that, if I couldn’t be/do it all for my daughters, I could at least warn them of the down time coming.
My paternal grandmother Nana, who passed away nearly three years ago, just three days short of her 100th birthday, had a rather wavy moral compass. After my parents divorced, that moral compass became a little more skewed (she REALLY did not like my mother after that) and I got caught up in the middle – but I still learned so much from her – from her I learned to fight/scrap/get messy in order to strive for what I wanted in life. She was a spitfire and she put her indelible mark upon me.
My maternal grandmother was far from cuddly or warm, but she taught me frugality, imbued a strong DIY spirit in me, and gave me a love for gardening and home crafts.
My second husband taught me to trust my gut, ALWAYS. I stopped listening to others try to tell me what I wanted from a man after that relationship!
I’ve been homeless twice in my life – it taught me the importance of again, trusting my gut, working hard, and not letting others pull you down.
And along the way I have met so many people, full of flaws, full of hope, full of life…they have taught me patience, anger, fear, love, loyalty, kindness and so much more.
This life…what a ride it has been…what a ride I have left to go!
(This was originally posted on Bubblews at: http://www.bubblews.com/news/2176722-this-lifewhat-a-ride)